User manual RANE PI 14 DATASHEET

[. . . ] So, with a little clever application of some otherwise tawdry electrical components, we bring you the PI 14. Have you ever wanted to add just a bit of this or a tad of that to your sound?Have you ever wondered what was available to allow it?The PI 14 gives you the ability to add bits of this and dashes of that, with continuously variable breadth and depth. [. . . ] Transparent to the user but essential to the design is the 128 bit microcontroller running the front panel. Rane's exclusive artificial intelligence (AI) algorithm determines whether the user knows what he's (it's always a he; she's are too smart to buy this thing) doing. The AI controller always overrides totally stupid input. In addition, an autopilot mode exists, whereby the AI controller predetermines what the operator wants, and executes it beforehand. And finally, the AI controller features DWIWNWIS (Do what I want, not what I say) trouble free control interface. Several envelope-pushing unique features beg attention Such as the pneumonic suspension to reduce gravitational electron drift due to tilted chassis; such as the proprietary paint that reflects odd-ordered harmonic light frequencies to reduce non-linear photon radiation interference; such as Rane's patent pending (in 3 galaxies) Time Warp Compression/Expansion to synchronize Here/There time coordinates; such as the Interdimensional Stabilizer essential for This and That; such as the 10 megawatt mini fusion reactor power supply for those demanding audio transients and featuring the first use of nearly room temperature (-146° C) bismuth superconductors. (It should be noted that the cooling system is not provided, but is required. ) No expense has been spared. And the physical construction is exquisite. Utilizing another Rane first, the all concrete chassis and front panel, the PI 14 displays unequalled vibrational stability. And with the optional aggregate front panel the Pseudoacoustic Infector is a wonder to fondle. PI 14 PSEUDOACOUSTIC INFECTOR Rear Panel Professional Audio Products Data Sheet Architectural Specifications The pseudoacoustic infector shall be a two channel unit with built-in crossover capability. The unit shall be able to add this and that to any audio signal being processed. In addition, panning from here to there (and back again) is required. The breadth and depth of any desired this or that shall be adjustable from off to a maximum of 11, with a spinal tap taper. The active crossover shall contain 4th-grade, statepenitentiary, Rinkwitz-Liley aligned filters. The high-pass and lowpass outputs of the filters shall crossover at an amplitude of +6 dB from the unity passband level and be electrically out of phase. No provisions shall exist to correct for driver misalignment. Misaligned drivers are stupid and shall be the installation jerk's responsibility. Crossing over from here to there shall be controlled by a cheap intermittently variable, our-gang potentiometer with 3 separate detents to allow mechanical mis-reference of crossover settings. Signal inputs shall be activist off-balanced designs terminated with 3-pin happy face connectors. Signal outputs shall be of equally deranged design with balanced output conductance terminated in 3-pin Mr. [. . . ] Macatee, "Boss Manipulation in the Audio Workplace, " J. Winter, "Aural Hallucinations for Fun and Profit, " Snake Oil Soc. Bohn, "Adaptive This and That for Stereophonic Sweeping From Here to There: presented at the 163rd Convention of Readers Digest Society, Readers Digest (Abstracts), vol. 1876), preprints confiscated. ©Rane Corporation 10802 47th Ave. [. . . ]